Why Feminism Sucks........Sometimes

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STOP


Before anyone gets upset, I am in fact a long suffering feminist myself battling against the male wrath on a regular basis, and I'm totally up for going a few weeks without having to shave my legs...because who has time to do that in the morning?
No, I'm referring to the surprisingly progressive role-reversal currently shaking up society; men are taking more time in front of mirrors, stealing our survival tactics (cunning mallicia and back-stabbing), and playing us at our own games. No longer are we these 'mysterious creatures' that capture the male imagination, no longer are there women from Venus, and men from Mars....apparently Venus has become so powerful, that Mars is Crashing into us. Where's our islands? temple bodies? illusions of perfection and unattainability? We are a sport.....thats right girls....we wanted to be equal so badly....we have turned our own men into women....and oh...dear god have we created monsters. I bet we didn't calculate that risk when we jumped to step up and burn all our bras.
I went to a house party last week and walked in on two men touching up their eyeliner and foundation in the toilets AND they were wearing more make-up than me.......are you kidding me? LOOK WHAT WE'VE DONE!
When did we hand the Peacock's back their feathers?

This thought had crossed my mind the other day while dumfoundingly watching my caveman fiance parade around the living room stark naked, and present himself in front of the mirror.

'When did I become this good-looking?', 'no, seriously, look at me...I'm so hot and I don't even have to try, does this happen to other people? it's so hard being irresistable sometimes'......and then...I kid you not.....moved on to gyrate 'himself' (picture naked dance with clapping...and it wasn't his hands doing the clapping)around the sofa.

....what does he want...a cookie?

I'd also like to mention, this behaviour is not a one-time occurrence, and is generally far more common when I have submerged myself in paper work and books...needless to say...it is rarely amusing. Neither am I very impressed that this type of society has started to rub off on him since taking him out of his Canadian red-neck habitat.

I call this behaviour peacocking (pun unintentional). Someone once told me that humans are one of the few species in which the females are the ones that peacock and display themselves. Traditionally, men would win the objects of the affections over by slapping a dead deer into the opening of her cave...more updated versions of this technique tend to involve chocolate and flowers. I know that secretly all feminists are aiming for an Amazonian society rather than meer equality, but I think we may have gone about the conversion the wrong way. Is it not worrying, that one day...we might be the ones picking up our dates and presenting the with computer games and golf clubs in an attempt to woo and impress.....seriously?....nobody is worried about this? It's starting to look more and more likely that I am going to end up with a house husband, whom I shall come home to every day, saying 'Honey, I'm home is dinner ready yet? Where's my beer?', and then he shall rub my feet and ask me about my day....if I wanted this life, I would have just agreed to marry a girl.
Although having my dinner ready and a pre-poured glass of wine sounds rather nice now I think about it.......

You know what I love about being a woman?...I love having breasts, I love having a bigger bum than men, I love having to worry about my weight (because ultimately, this will help my health), I love putting on make-up and being the only one taking up the bathroom, I love being able to accuse someone of being sexist or perverted, I love the fact that it is still acceptable to bop a man on the nose and expect not to be hit back, I love the fact that if I don't know the answer or have offended someone or made a mistake..I can just revert to being cute and all is forgiven, and I absolutely love putting on a pretty dress and turning male heads, because when women lose their ability to still have this effect....we are losing the gender battle. We are handing men the torch back, we are handing them their key back to power....not only are they stronger than us, but they are stealing all the qualities that make us superior and in turn, making themselves ever more powerful. Before we know it after the male wooing starts...we'll find ourselves back at the kitchen sink, with a small farm of rugrats running around, desperately trying to impress our men and keep them happy and pretty, because they are the peacocks now

....for these reasons....this, this is why feminism sucks....sometimes